Culinary Distractions for our Crap Economy, Part One

Along with most of my friends, I have almost entirely abandoned the practice of going out to dinner as a simple matter of economic recourse. Barring a recent special occasion which my wife and I sumptuously honored with an evening at Blue Water Grill, the days of casually dining out anywhere more expensive than Chinatown have disappeared like a plate of crispy shrimp rolls at Congee Village. Even though I've lacked steady work for almost a year now, it's important to remember that plenty of my peers are experiencing financial hardships which are far more appreciable than my willful denial of the foie gras en croute that inhabits my dreams. "Things are tough all over" is how the saying goes, so at risk of sounding like someone who's out of touch, let me make clear the fact that I was utterly thrilled with the peanut butter sandwich I ate over the sink half an hour ago. Yes, the demanding realities of an economic downturn are many, but tough times need not interrupt our ongoing search for culinary conquests, and that noise in the background is the sound of several thousand food bloggers currently clacking away in celebration of adventurous home cooking.

One of the ongoing problems with my food obsession is that I often become fixated on a particular dish or ingredient not while thumbing through the pages of a favorite cookbook, but while sitting in a movie theater that's just gone dark, or when arriving on the shores of a foreign land where the food is just plain bizarre (like Staten Island, for example). But recently, inspiration struck me while running errands in lower Manhattan, and so I burst through the doors of the accursed Tribeca Whole Foods Market and promptly demanded me some duck meat.

Nausea-inducing price points of Whole Foods notwithstanding, I find the store quite overwhelming and tend to avoid it in the same way that others avoid open-mouth kisses from people with visibly bloody teeth. But I was certain that of any market within throwing distance of J&R Appliance World, Whole Foods would be the one most likely to offer fresh duck breast. And they did, only said breasts were still attached to the duck wings, duck legs, and the other, less glamorous duck extremities that were not part of the delicious dinner now taking shape in my mind. If I'd wanted a whole duck, I would have made tracks towards Chinatown, where their greasy red carcasses feature prominently in the window displays of many storefronts. But instead I chose to hop the nearby PATH train and blasted underneath the Hudson River to Hoboken's Garden of Eden, where gorgeous duck breasts with a tantalizing layer of thick fat on one side were to be had for just south of market price. This fantasy was nearly in the bag.

Cookbooks without gorgeous pictures of what the finished dish is supposed to look like are, of course, among the top seven crappiest Christmas presents on Earth, with the solitary exception being The Joy of Cooking, which our dear pal Therese gave us last year and which we adore and refer to constantly. (The worst offender in the picture-less cookbook realm is the Moosewood Cookbook, which is so insulting as to feature crude drawings of its culinary offerings. No slur on vegetarian meals, many of which I am a huge fan of, but people who rely heavily on Moosewood's bland and flavorless recipes not only hate meat, but by extension also seem likely to hate starry skies, little tiny kittens, and the warmth of a late summer ocean breeze. Sorry Moosewood enthusiasts, but your efforts to convince me that wet cardboard is an acceptable or desirable food group remain in question even as of this writing.) 

I'd never cooked duck by myself, so I didn't have a specific recipe in mind. However, I did have a general idea of what I wanted, and the Joy of Cooking delivered with expected triumph: Pan Seared Duck Breast with Fig and Red Wine Sauce, which wound up being every bit as delicious as it sounds, can be mostly prepared hours in advance of suppertime, and which would likely have cost three times as much had we ordered it in a restaurant. And aside from the meat, its preparation doesn't involve any weird ingredients that can't be had with a quick trip to the corner bodega. Because I can never resist altering recipes at least a little bit, my variation of it went something like this:

Fight whomever you need to in order to acquire:

* 2-6 skinless and boneless duck breasts

(Hint: Everyone who's ever comparison priced chicken parts to whole chickens knows that extraneous professional handling of your meat results in higher pricing. So in this case, don't pay more money for skinless duck when removing the thick, fatty portion yourself is easily accomplished with a few simple strokes of a kitchen knife. Also take care to remove the very thin fat membrane, which is harder to see and is kind of blucky looking when cooked. And stop laughing because I said "handling of your meat.")

In a glass mixing bowl or baking dish, combine:

* 3 Tbs of fruity vinegar (I used strawberry balsamic, which is nasty on salads but good for marinades)

* 3 Tbs olive oil

* 2 Tbs honey

* 1 snipped scallion, or chopped shallot

* 1 Tbs minced garlic

* 1/2 Tsp dried oregano

* 1/2 Tsp fresh thyme

* 1/2 Tsp fresh sage

* 1/4 tsp Allspice

* generous pinch of salt and black pepper

Mix well and add the duck, making sure it's all coated evenly. Cover and refrigerate for 2-6 hours.

In a medium saucepan, combine:

* 2 cups of red Zinfandel wine (I used one cup of Zin supplemented with a cup of leftover Malbec)

* 1/4 cup chicken stock

* 1/2 Tsp fresh thyme

* a two-inch strip of lemon zest

* 1 clove minced garlic

* 1 bay leaf

* pinch of Allspice

Stir well over high heat until it boils, and then add:

* 16 dried Calimyrna figs with the stems cut off

Reduce the heat, cover, and simmer for about 45 minutes, or until the figs are soft enough that you wouldn't mind adding one to a forkful of delicious duck breast. Remove from heat, fish about for and discard the lemon zest and bay leaf, and then carefully spoon half of the hot figs and half of the wine mixture into a blender. Whip it on high for a few seconds until it's all pulpy and smooth, and then stir it back into the pot with the whole figs and sauce. Cover and keep warm on lowest possible flame so it doesn't burn. And if it hasn't already been done, have your mate/date/cat set the table, because you're going to be eating in less than ten minutes!

Remove duck breasts from fridge, scrape away the particulate matter (garlic and scallion bits), and pat dry. Heat a large skillet coated with olive oil just until it begins to smoke. (Got a sensitive fire alarm? Now would be a good time to open whichever window is closest to it.) Add the duck and cook three minutes per side, remembering that duck is red meat and is OK to be rare in the middle. If that's not how your palate rolls, add an extra 60-90 seconds per side for a decidedly more well done (well, brown) dining experience.

Keep in mind, even if you're serving only one or two duck breasts, you've got enough sauce for six, so be sure to have some absorbent and starchy side dishes available for the inevitable sopping. We served ours with garlic sauteed kale and steaming piles of Trader Joe's Harvest Grain blend, which has become something of a standard in our house.

Serve it all up with the remainder of your red wine. Maybe use the fancy dishes to further enhance the restaurant vibe. Consider wearing a tie. And for god sakes, would it kill you to run a comb through that mop? Most importantly, congratulate yourself on the cunning work of mental trickery you've just performed -- If everything goes well, you'll feel like you've dined out on the town just like we all did back in the roaring 90s. That's a pretty considerable achievement, especially when you work in a rush-hour trip to Hoboken. Wouldn't you agree?

Comments

[Therese]

Oh my. That looks delicious.

I often shop in the Tribeca Whole Foods because it's on my way home. My biggest problem with it is that, despite having an entrance on Greenwich, the store conspires to dump you out on the windswept and desolate West Side Highway.

[Pbobst]

"...tend to avoid it in the same way that others avoid open-mouth kisses from people with visibly bloody teeth."

Whoa. That's some visceral writing

[mike]

Therese, I hear ya loud and clear. Because I wound up not buying anything there, I tried to exit far from the register lines and somehow wound up in a Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

Patrick: Oh sure, like that's never happened to you.

[Ike]

I'm not much of a fan of duck, but the article was fun to read anyway. And now I know to look out for that harvest grain blend next time I'm at Trader Joe's.

Where do you get your garlic? I'm so tired of bland cheap Chinese garlic that dominates every ordinary supermarket and tastes like cardboard. I don't get a chance to get to a farmer's market very often, but last time I bought some expensive local garlic at the Union Square Greenmarket, it was amazingly good. It was sort of like the difference between The Wire and CSI: Miami, flavor-wise. And I didn't need to use much of it in any given dish because it was much more flavorful than the cheap stuff, so effectively, it didn't end up being very expensive after all. But I usually can't remember to get down to Union Square before the farmers go home. I wish they sold local garlic in supermarkets. Maybe I should put some dirt in a pot and try growing my own.

[mj]

I like the fancy plates.

[Irwin Chusid]

How did you know the Garden of Eden offered such choice daffybird? Intuition, sir?

[mike]

Irwin: Some homeless guy hanging out in the parking lot of the Burlington Coat Factory told me, weirdly enough.

[Niece Katy]

I miss the roaring 90s so much that I watched four VHS tapes this weekend and pretended my 49-cent Recession Seltzer was Crystal Pepsi.

[Martha]

Hi there -

That looks amazingly good, I have to say, and the sauteed kale looks great. One tip - given your at home cooking interests these days - is to save the duck fat and render it - just put it in a good pan (with a little water I think - haven't done it for a while) and heat not too high - it takes a while but you will be left with a nice amount of duck fat along with a small piece of cripsy duck skin. Pour off the fat into a container and refrigerate - then you can use it to fry up potatos. This is EXCELLENT, they come out super crispy and tasty.

And I totally agree w/ you re: Moosewood. There was some review in the New Yorker the other day of The Joy of Sex and - through a connection I can't quire remember - somehow wound up talking about how everything in Moosewood is improved w/ bacon -

- M.

[mike]

Amazingly, I did happen to save the duck fat in a freezer bag because I suspected it might come in handy for something along these lines... Seriously, this is all totally excellent information -- muchas gracias!