Much to my wife's concern, I'm becoming the sort of person who walks around the house muttering about politics. She's caught me doing it a couple of times, and no longer believes that I'm just "singing softly to myself", as I've tried claiming. Realizing that it's a short hop from such behavior to the kind that involves wearing a ratty old bathrobe in public, I've been trying to do some corrective mental surgery by eschewing my usual diet of online news for the more stately and civil Brian Lehrer show on WNYC. (Which has been a regular thing in my house for years anyway, but which lately is becoming more a matter of exclusivity. Especially in the recent wake of worrisome news a la Libya, Japan, and the national budget.)
I've also found myself in desperate need of a good laugh. The kind of laugh that makes your gut ache, your eyes water, and which summons aftershock snickering throughout the rest of the day. The kind of laugh that drives a wedge between my brain and its seemingly limitless obsession with the folly of man. In short, I needed the kind of laugh that's routinely inspired by Jack Handey's all-too-infrequent New Yorker submissions, which I have just decided to catalog here for my convenience and sanity's sake, as well as your hilari-tainment. Enjoy! I recommend consuming these while riding the subway, where strangers will certainly regard your uncontrollable cackling as evidence of severe mental instability. Stretch out and enjoy those vacant seats on either side of you.
How I want to be Remembered | Ideas for Paintings | How Things Even Out | Animals All Around Us | This Is No Game| Thank You for Stopping | My First Day in Hell | The Plan | What I'd Say to the Martians | Tattoo | Lowering My Standards | My Nature Documentary
Alternately, I suppose you could buy the book.